Are you a movie writer stuck in a difficult plot jam struggling to finish your script on time? Then please avail yourself of these incredible plot devices to tie up any loose ends in your script.
- Time traveling e-mail
- Doppelgangers
- Rich uncle dies
- A talking duck
- Ancient University rule clause
- Submarine route through the Northwest Passage
- Matching shoes (seen under a bathroom stall)
- Fully functional museum artifact
- Neighbour is an influential blogger
- Dude looks like a lady from the back
- Another law enforcement agency interferes in the investigation
- Bill does not pass royal ascent
- Protagonist passes out because of the Atkins diet
- 10,000 lbs weight falls from a great height
- The killer is lactose intolerant
- Flight was to Sydney Nova Scotia, not Sydney Australia
- The princess is an archery expert
- The hot tub is filled with heavy water
- It’s a leap year
- The spreadsheet has hidden columns
- Herd of elephants comes to the rescue
Start by chopping some onions and fry them in a pan with some olive oil. Then take five of the best tomatoes that you’ve been growing on your balcony. You will know that they are the best ones because you have been carefully monitoring their progress all summer. Chop them up and add them to the onions. This is a good time to add some ground beef. Now raid your spice rack for some flavour. Salt, Pepper, Curry Powder and Caesar Rimmer are all good choices. Add leftover salsa to colour. Let simmer until West Wing is on. Serve on Spaghetti.
I have a great idea for a video game called Surf Guitar. It combines the Wii fit and Guitar Hero into a single video game. In the game you have to surf and play guitar at the same time. The only songs available would be Wipeout, or anything by the Beach Boys.
It’d be great if everything was integrated into a single game, but it wold be trivial to make a home brew version of Surf Guitar. All you would need is two separate systems (Wii Fit and Guitar Hero) and two televisions.
I think I deserve a patent.
I have a bruise on my foot, right on the knuckle above my baby toe. It’s there because a girl stepped on it…with cleats. We were playing soccer. I’m pretty sure she didn’t do it on purpose, there was lots of running involved.
I recently checked out two books from the library. One of them is quite brilliant, and the other is not. The great thing is that I don’t need to finish reading the not so brilliant book. I can just bring it back, half finished, no questions asked, and try my luck with two fresh books.
I’m inspired by the recent bigfoot hoax, and I want to start some kind of rumour at my office. It should have something to do with seeing something out the window, and something that could be repeated later. Most people in the office sit next to a big window that looks onto the following; a four lane road, a parking lot, a stripmall (including a supermarket), the Ottawa high-tech skyline and some fields. Here are some ideas I have so far;
- I saw a minor celebrity enter the hairdressing salon in the stipmall
- seagulls keep flying into the powerlines
- The UPS guy and the FedEX guy got into a yelling match in the parking lot
- The free Ice Cream Truck just drove through the parking lot
- Van Halen’s tour bus drove by and stopped at Quizno’s
- The adjacent building is trying to signal us using Morse Code
- There’s a eagle attacking people at the bus stop
- There’s man who living out of his van in the parking lot (this may actually be true)
Okay, Here is my concept for a television series. You make a normal seeming TV drama about a group of people doing things… like Heroes, or Jericho, and it builds up to the main characters having to go up against a group of evildoers in a big blockbuster season finale. But here’s the crazy thing…the so called evildoers they go up against turn out to be the cast of another prime time drama, like Lost or CSI… and it turns into the biggest TV cross-over ever made. And then you look back at old episodes of both series on your TiVo and it all makes sense because the producers have been planning this since day one. And it blows your mind.
I found an awesome list of quotes where Batman is lecturing Robin.
Dick: “Gosh, Economics is sure a dull subject.”
Bruce: “Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull? The glamour, the romance of commerce… Hmm. It’s the very lifeblood of our country’s society.”
Please instant message me with your favourites so that I can laugh at them with you.
Here’s all the stuff I did today;
- Ran five kilometers
- Listened to “Geek USA” by the Smashing Pumpkins*
- Updated my interests on Facebook
- Drank a rye & ginger
- Looked at high resolution pictures of CERN
- ate a vitamin
- Added fancy title tags to this blog
- ate bacon
- ate a ton of pistachios
- took two showers
All that on a Tuesday.
*This worked out really well. It was the first song that came on during my run. In fact it came on while I was stretching…and then there’s a slow bit…and then it really picks up around 2:44, which is when I started running. I think I sprinted the first kilometer.
